The 90/10 Principle : ‘For things to change, I MUST CHANGE FIRST’

Found an interesting article, thought i’d share… 

‘ I packed up early, after a long day’s work. My body was aching for a hard day’s work. I got into my car with a merry tune in my head. All this was because i was picking you up after work. I was just so excited. I left estimating a 45 minutes drive in the after work jam thinking that it would take me 15 minutes without the jam. As i drove out of the car park, i saw the skies were dark, and it was dripping water from the skies. I drove on to the road, and i see cars packed up. my legs were aching, and slow driving was making me sleepy. Nevertheless, i put up with the jam. As i drove slowly in the hustle and bustle of the town, i realised i was not going to make it in time. I slapped myself to keep awake. the rain was pouring and the cars were piling…

At last, i arrived at your work place. I was an hour late. When you walked to my car, i knew you were tired to. When you opened the door, i murmured ‘sorry’ as i know you’ve been waiting for an hour. You did not event want to look at me. All you said was, ‘i was sitting down there for an hour’. I kept quite, silence pursuit. my heart was broken. I knew it was my fault but i did not expect the jam to be that bad. All i could say was i’m sorry but obviously your anger needed more than an apology….so i kept silence.

An hour or 2 later, you started smiling again, and i, who was still heart broken just forced my smiles too. I had to, as i knew if i continune to keep quiet, you’ll start frowning again. I do not know what you went through in the morning, or in the afternoon, but all i know It is you I love, and it is you that i will keep my patience. It is for you that i will smile and forgive no matter what. Patience, it really is a virtue.’

Was reading through this when i thought of an article written by my favourite writer Steven Covey. Thought i’d share this with you guys.. remember, the only way to keep love going is compromy and to do that, you really do need patience…

Author: Stephen Covey

Discover the 90/10 Principle.
It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).

What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is
decided by how you react.
What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.
We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which
throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.
We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the
other 90%.
How? ……….By your reaction.
You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction. Don’t let people fool
you; YOU can control how you react.

Let’s use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee
onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.
What happens next will be determined by how you react.
You curse.
You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in
tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup
too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs
and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy
crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.
Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your
daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph
speed limit.
After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your
daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20
minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it
continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.
When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse
and daughter.
Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is “D”.
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5
seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, “Its ok
honey, you just need to be more careful next time”. Grabbing a towel you rush
upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time
to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and
waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss
comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.
Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was
determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something
negative about you, don’t be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You
don’t have to let the negative comment affect you!
React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a
friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound
on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you
curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?
WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your

Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.
You are told you lost your job.
Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time
into finding another job.
The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take outpour
frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on.
Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It
will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results.
You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and
apply this principle.
The result?
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and
heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.
It CAN change your life!!!


About melakaboy

Nonsensical and crazy as i already am, i'm still good at what i do... that's me! crazily efficient.

Posted on January 23, 2009, in Life as [Mr.P!] and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. hey, I like this, and I do learn alot from this, thanks for the lovely sharing.=)

  2. Kelly Chan?? 🙂 anyway, yeah Covey’s my favorite Self Help Author. He always demonstrates ‘the larger then life’ scenario in his writings.. i’ve got a DVD on some cool stuff of his teaching’s… if u want, maybe someday can lend it to u..

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